The transcript for Tech Banned.


It was a quiet Sunday afternoon. Lisa was prank-texting Darcy.

Hugh entered.

Hugh: Don't you think you've been on this phone a lot?

Lisa didn't look up from her phone.

Lisa: This is important. Darcy is finally miserable. Look at these emojis!

Lisa showed Hugh the text that had 13 crying emojis.

Hugh rolled his eyes.

Hugh: If you say so. I was hoping to go on a family outing with you and the kids.

Hugh left.

Lisa: Perfect. Now where was I?

Meanwhile, in Hugh Jr's room...

Hugh Jr was e-mailing Lonnie.

Hugh entered.

Hugh: Hugh Jr, why don't you get off that computer and come join me in making some lunch.

Hugh Jr: No time for that, Dad. I'm tutoring Lonnie over the computer.

Hugh: Ah. Well, just don't be on there all day.

Hugh left.

Meanwhile, in Alicia's room...

Alicia was on the phone with Ashley.

Alicia: So Lucas did WHAT, exactly?

Ashley (on the other line): He-

Hugh entered.

Hugh: It's a beautiful day, Alicia. Let's go to the park.

Alicia: Hang on, Ashley. I'll have to call you back.

Alicia hung up her phone.

Alicia: What is it, Dad? Ashley and I were talking.

Hugh: Wouldn't you much rather have a sleepover with her instead?

Alicia: Tempting. But both of our moms hate each other.

Hugh rolled his eyes and left.

4 hours later, and Lisa, Hugh Jr, and Alicia were still on their respective devices

Hugh: Man. This is too much.

Hugh hollered to the rest of his family.


Lisa, Hugh Jr, and Alicia entered the living room still on their devices.

Hugh: Now do you know why I called you in here?

Lisa: Hang on.

A notification popped up on Lisa's phone.

Lisa: NO! Lori just said that Lana just said that Lucas, Marcus, Mike, AND Gus ALL moved back to Royal Woods! This is a disaster!

Hugh: Who cares about that? Look, you guys need to get off your electronic devices long enough for you to listen to me!

Hugh Jr: Sorry Dad, but Lonnie JUST considered us to be an item. Whatever that means.

Alicia: And I need to know what Lucas did! Ashley was supposed to tell me.

Hugh: ENOUGH! You know what? Hand over your devices.

Lisa: WHAT?!

Hugh Jr and Alicia (in unison): But we need them!

Hugh: No you don't! Now hand them over.

Lisa, Hugh Jr, and Alicia all grumbled as they handed Hugh their devices.

Hugh: Now you get these back in a week.

Lisa whispered to Hugh Jr.

Lisa: Jokes on Hugh. I have an EXTRA phone.

Hugh overheard that.

Hugh: Hand it over.

Lisa: But this is my work phone. How else am I supposed to know that David caused Darcy to swell up? Or if Lucas, Marcus, Mike, and Gus beat up Lana again? Or-

Hugh: Oh, I think you'd find out at...I don't know...your job.

Lisa: Well, I like to be prepared.

Hugh: Just hand the thing over!

Lisa: Ugh. Fine.

She handed the phone to Hugh.

Hugh: Okay. Now these things will be locked up far away from here.

Hugh left the room with Lisa, Hugh Jr, and Alicia's devices.

Lisa: This is a disaster!

Hugh Jr: You're telling me! Does Lonnie like me? Or are we just stuck in the friend-zone? I'd e-mail Chad for answers since he's great at talking to girls. But Dad took my phone.

Lisa: Who cares about that? Lori was supposed to tell me about Lana.

Alicia: Maybe you could go to her house and ask her.

Lisa: Gee. I would. But before your father jacked my phone, Lori messaged me that she was at the the mall all day.

Alicia: Well, go over there, then!

Lisa: I might just do that.

Alicia: And Ashley's house is on the way to the mall. Drop me off there, too. Please?

Hugh Jr: And so is Lonnie's house!

Lisa: Okay, okay! I'll drop you both off before I see Lori!

Lisa, Hugh Jr, and Alicia left.

Moments later, Lisa dropped off Hugh Jr.

Moments after, Lisa dropped off Alicia.

Lisa: Finally Lori can tell me what she was neglecting to tell me all this time.

Lisa reached the mall.

Lisa entered just as Darcy came running in.

Lisa: Darcy! What are you doing here?

Darcy: I just need to drown my sorrows in frozen yogurt.

Lisa began to smirk but stopped.

Lisa: But why?

Darcy: Well, David forgot our anniversary...again. I don't know what to do.

Lisa: Well, I have no time for your foolish problems. I have real issues to deal with. See ya.

Lisa left as Darcy sat on a bench and began crying.

Lisa entered the clothing store that Lori was at.

Lisa: Is, uh, Lori here?

Carol Pingrey, who was sorting clothes looked at Lisa.

Carol: I saw Lori. She was just putting on a new dress.

Lisa: Oh, that's fantastic. Not. I really need to speak to her.

Carol: Well, she'll be out in a moment. Do you want me to help you with anything?

Lisa: Well. I do, actually. You're Lori's best friend. Could you tell Lori what she was going to say to me?

Carol: Sorry, no. Lori and I hadn't spoken all day.

Lisa: Huh? I thought-

Carol: Yes we spoke. But only by phone.

Lisa rolled her eyes.

Lisa: Of course.

Lori left the changing room in a beautiful blue dress.

Lori: Okay, Carol. This is the last dress I tried on. This better impress Bobby.

Carol: Oh, it totally will!

Lisa: Are you kidding me?

Carol: Shhh!

Lori: So, I'll buy this. Later. I need to speak to Lisa now. It's supes urgent.

Lori went back into the changing room.

She changed into her regular clothes and left.

Lori: So, Lisa. You wanted to speak to me. Rather, I wanted to speak to you.

Lisa: Yep. How about we go to the food court?

Lori: Ooooo! Sushi day!

Lisa: Yeah...but I could go for some frozen yogurt.

Lori: Okay, okay.

Lori and Lisa entered the food court and got some frozen yogurt.

They sat down at a table.

Lori: So you were wondering about Lana.

Lisa: Yep. You told me that Lana told you that those idiotic sexists moved back! And I hadn't seen them since high school when they RUINED my plan to turn Lana girly forever.

Lori: Woah, woah, woah. Lana is actually HAPPY. And they are actually her BEST friends.

Lisa: Your point?

Lori: I know it might be hard to believe, but Lucas, Marcus, Mike, and Gus all changed. At least...according to Lana.

Lisa: Whatever. I have bigger problems now.

Lisa spotted Darcy eavesdropping at a nearby table.

Lisa headed to Darcy's table angrily.

Darcy: Oh, hey Lisa! Fancy meeting you here!

Lisa: What's the matter with you?

Darcy: I don't understand. Did I do something wrong?

Lisa: YES! I was having a private discussion with my sister and you totally ruined it!

Darcy burst into tears.

Darcy: I'm sorry! I was texting you all afternoon! What happened?

Lisa: Hugh took my phone away.

Darcy gasped.

Darcy: He can't do that! Can he? Will he give it back? I have SO many emotions now!

Lisa: Relax. When I get home, I'll just give him an expensive present that I'll get here.

Darcy looked confused.

Lisa: Of course, it's way above your head. I'll catch you later.

Lisa left. 

Lori caught up to Lisa.

Lori: Well, did you solve that HUGE problem?

Lisa: I did. But now I have a bigger one.

Lori: Oh boy.

Lisa: Yeah. Do you know where you can find a fancy, expensive gold watch? 

Lori: Yep. Carol said there was one on sale in the department store that she works at.

Lisa: Perfect. Let's go.

Lori and Lisa headed to the department store.

Lisa saw Carol and went up to her.

Lisa: Where can we find a fancy, expensive gold watch?

Carol: I saw one right over here.

Carol pointed to the watch rack by her.

Lisa: Perfect.

Lisa grabbed it and bought it.

Lisa left.

Meanwhile, at Lonnie's house...

Hugh Jr: Lonnie, I need to you like me?

Lonnie: Of course I do! 

Hugh Jr: I mean. More than just as a friend.

Lonnie: Oh. 

Hugh Jr: So, what does that mean? 

Lonnie: Look, I didn't know how to say this, but I've always had a huge crush on you. You were the least repulsive boy at my school. However, my dad isn't too sure on his sister's son going out with me. Not to mention, we're years apart. 

Hugh Jr: Oh. Well, my parents are years apart and they are very happy. 

Lonnie: Hmmm...I didn't know that. I thought they were the same age. 

Hugh Jr: Nope. Point is, I like you a lot. And I know you feel the same way. 

Lonnie: I do! I didn't mean to break your heart. I just wasn't sure what you meant. 

Hugh Jr: The note was pretty self explanatory.

Lonnie: And I loved it. 

Lonnie kissed Hugh Jr on the cheek. 

Hugh Jr blushed. 

Meanwhile, at Ashley's house... 

Alicia: So, what did Lucas do this time? 

Ashley: He still won't give up on you.

Alicia: Great.

Ashley: But now I know why. 

Alicia: Why? 

Ashley: It's cause he's always thought you had the same qualities as...get this...his mother. 

Alicia: You got to be kidding me.

Ashley: Of course I am. That's not it. He just solely thinks you're the prettiest girl in school. 

Alicia: I know. That didn't help. How do we get him to stop? 

Ashley: Didn't you say that your mom gave you advice? 

Alicia: Yeah, but it was super manipulative. I couldn't do it without feeling really guilty afterwards. 

Ashley: And why would you have felt guilty? 

Alicia blushed. 

Ashley: You like him! It's obvious! 

Alicia: I do. But only as a friend. 

Ashley: Oh! That makes perfect sense! 

Alicia: Yep. And maybe when Lucas and I grow up, there could be something more. But definitely not now! 

Meanwhile, at the mall... 

Lisa left with the watch. 

Darcy snuck up on her again. 

Darcy: Hey, friend! How's it going? 

Lisa: Okay. I just got a nice watch for Hugh. 

Darcy: Oooo! What's the occasion? 

Lisa: Hmmm...not telling you.

Lisa unlocked her car. 

Lisa: I really gotta go, Darcy. I need to pick up my kids. 

Darcy: Okay, see ya! 

Lisa entered her car and drove off. 

Lisa picked up Hugh Jr and Alicia. 

They arrived home. Hugh was in the living room reading. 

Lisa went up to Hugh. 

Lisa: I have a surprise for you. 

Hugh: Really? It's not even my birthday! 

Lisa: I know. But I decided to give you this. 

Lisa held up the gold watch. 

Lisa: It might've cost me all of my doctor's paycheck for this month but you deserve the best. 

Hugh: Aw. I have something for you, too. 

Hugh left and came back with all of Lisa, Hugh Jr, and Alicia's electronics. 

Hugh: You earned it. And besides, I wasn't really going to take them away from you for a whole week. I just didn't want you to be so obsessed with them. 

Lisa: Aw. I promise not to overuse them. 

Alicia: Me too. 

Hugh Jr: I second that.

They all hugged.