The transcript for Too Cool for School.


The next day, Hugh Jr was at school.

Chad went up to him.

Hugh Jr: What is it, Chad? I'm studying for Mr. Miller's class.

Chad: Forget that! I toilet papered the principal's house yesterday!

Hugh Jr: Are you insane? Do you WANT to get expelled?

Chad: Relax. Nothing can happen to me.

Hugh Jr: I dunno.

Chad: Also, you gotta have more fun, too. You just keep living in fear of getting into trouble. Break the rules! Live!

Hugh Jr: I could just see you in all orange someday.

Chad rolled his eyes.

Chad: Whatever.

Throughout the day, Hugh Jr kept thinking about what Chad said.

An hour later, he went home.

Lisa: So, how was your day?

Hugh Jr: Why do you wanna know?

Lisa: You look upset.

Hugh Jr: Okay, okay. Chad thinks I'm not fun.

Lisa: Oh boy.

Hugh Jr: And I wanna prove him wrong!

Lisa: Oh. And how will you do that?

Hugh Jr: Mmmm...I dunno.

Hugh Jr left and entered his room.

Hugh Jr: I know exactly how I'll do that!

Hugh Jr threw all of his science books out of the window.

Hugh Jr: There! That's phase one!

Later that night, Hugh Jr modified all of his clothes and Hugh's old leather jacket and created a new chemical that temporarily dyes hair.

The next morning, Hugh Jr put on his modified clothes and Hugh's old leather jacket, sprayed his hair with his new spray, and wore his summer sunglasses that he hardly wore.

Hugh Jr went downstairs for breakfast.

Lisa saw him and looked shocked.

Lisa: I better hope this has nothing to do with Chad.

Hugh Jr: And why would you think that?

Lisa: Hugh Jr, if Chad doesn't like you the way you are, then he's not a good friend.

Hugh Jr: What do you know? And please, the name's HJ from now on!

Lisa: Seriously? I'm not calling you that.

Hugh Jr: That name's cool! At least according to Chad.

Lisa: Oh brother. I think I'll need to start yet another intervention.

Meanwhile, at the middle school...

Chad came up to Hugh Jr.

Chad: Yo, HJ! You look tight, man!

Hugh Jr: Yes, yes. I do. But my mom didn't think so.

Chad: Forget her! She's the most unfun person I've ever met!

Hugh Jr: I know, Chad.

Chad: And the fact that she won't let you do anything fun.

Hugh Jr: I get it. Let's just get to class before any of our teachers give us any detention.

Chad: Come on! You got the look down. Now what's next?

Hugh Jr: Don't care.

Chad: You got it! Like, who cares about showing up to class? Let's just ditch for the day!

Hugh Jr: I dunno if-

Chad: Come on! It'll be fun!

Hugh Jr: Oh, okay. What the heck?

Chad: That's the spirit!

They left the school and went to the mall.

Hugh Jr looked nervous.

Chad: Okay, no one you know is here, so just calm down.

Hugh Jr spotted Lisa and David over by the food court where he was sitting at.

Hugh Jr: Except for my mom and her best friend...who is OUR science teacher!

Chad: Shhh. Chillax, dude. They don't know. Look.

Hugh Jr turned around.

He could hear Lisa and David talking.

Lisa: David, you gotta help me. It's my son.

David: Say no more. I observed him for a couple days now. That Chad seems nice.

Lisa: More like a juvenile delinquent who keeps influencing Hugh Jr.

David: Hmmm...kinda reminds me of when Greg started hanging out with Lana's no-good friends when he started attending her class.

Lisa: Yep. Lucas, Marcus, Mike, and Gus made Greg eat a worm. Your point?

David: Nothing, except I think I actually SEE both Hugh Jr and Chad. Turn around.

Chad pulled Hugh Jr away from the table behind Lisa and David.

Lisa turned around.

Lisa: I don't see anything.

David: Huh. Maybe weeks of Darcy's aggressive cuddling in the night rattled my brain.

Lisa: Heh. Yeah. Or look over there!

Lisa pointed at the trash cans that Hugh Jr and Chad were hiding by.

David looked at them.

Lisa went over to them.

Lisa: You boys are so busted.

David went over.

David: Don't act so hasty. I'll talk to them both.

Lisa: Oh, alright. Maybe it's best to get a good male perspective.

David: What about Hugh?

Lisa: Hugh is away with Alicia to Chicago.

David: Why?

Lisa: Alicia BEGGED him to take her out of school to get a new American Girl doll at the American Girl place. Now back to you two.

Lisa pointed at Hugh Jr and Chad.

Lisa: What were you two thinking? Skipping school? Chad, I'd understand. You're a mess. But Hugh Jr? My one and only son who never disappoints me.

Hugh Jr: Well, I-

Chad: But I-

Lisa: I don't wanna hear it. David will be going back to school now to teach his other science classes after lunch and you two are in big trouble. Chad, I'm calling your father.

Chad: NO! I finally earned the right to live with him since Halloween. Don't take it away!

Lisa: Well, you shouldn't pressure Hugh Jr into sneaking out. Now I'm taking you guys back to school.

Moments later, Hugh Jr and Chad both returned to school.

Lisa and David dropped them off.

Lisa: You both be good, okay.

David: Yep. Now I gotta teach my next class. I'll keep an eye on you two.

Chad: Oh, we'll be good, Mr. Miller.

Hugh Jr: Uh. Yeah.

David: Good. Now if you'll excuse me.

David left.

Lisa: Yep. I got my eyes on you both now.

Lisa left.

Chad: By eyes on us, does she mean-

Hugh Jr: Well, she DID spy on Lucas, Marcus, Mike, and Gus that day Greg ate a worm.

Chad: Man.

Hugh Jr: But we should be fine.

The day passed.

Hugh Jr and Chad were in PE class plotting their escape.

Chad: So, Coach Lynn CAN'T know what we're up to now.

Hugh Jr: And why not?

Chad: Let the man handle things.

Lynn overheard their conversation.

Lynn: You two kids aren't planning what I think you're planning?

Hugh Jr: Planning what?

Lynn: Uh-huh. Yeah. Dodgeball. Now. Both of you.

Hugh Jr and Chad looked at each other with worried looks.

Lynn pulled Hugh Jr aside.

Lynn: If Chad influences you to do any of his weird crud, just stand firm and say no.

Hugh Jr: It's not that simple. He's my best friend.

Lynn: Then you need to get some courage. Best friends aren't supposed to push you around.

Hugh Jr: Okay, okay. I'll try.

Lynn left.

Chad went over to Hugh Jr.

Chad: What was THAT about?

Hugh Jr rolled his eyes.

Hugh Jr: Aunt Lynn and her ridiculous advice. Now where were we?

Chad: We'll try not to get busted when we sneak out of PE.

Hugh Jr: Okay, okay. I don't know, but-

Chad: Let's go!

An hour passed. Chad and Hugh Jr didn't succeed in sneaking out of gym.

It was art class and Chad had a new plan.

Chad: So, coach Lynn didn't appreciate a dodgeball to the head. But Ms. Loud will not mind at all when I create a little "accident" with the paints.

Hugh Jr: Really? Aunt Lily minds when my mom shreds her precious baby blankie.

Chad: Please. Look at this.

Chad spilled all of the paint on the table and it flew all over Lonnie, who was sitting in front of him.

Lonnie turned around angrily.

Lonnie: Really Chad?

Lonnie looked at Hugh Jr.

Lonnie: And YOU should stop your friend from getting into trouble! What happened to the guy I like?

Hugh Jr: He's still here! I swear!

Lily overheard and gasped.

Lily: Both of you, detention. Now!

Hugh Jr: Oh great.

Meanwhile, back at home...

Lisa was in the living room with Lincoln and Clyde.

Lisa: So, you two wouldn't believe what happened to Hugh Jr!

Lincoln: Really. Did he win another Nobel prize and you just HAD to brag about it to me to make Lonnie inferior?

Lisa rolled her eyes.

Lisa: No. Hugh Jr's gone bad.

Lincoln: NO!

Lisa: And CHAD is influencing him AGAIN!

Clyde: Great. Chad was so well behaved right before Halloween and like, the days right after it. What did he do this time?

Lisa: He and Hugh Jr ditched school. Again.

Clyde: I am sensing some deja vu. Did he shoplift again?

Lisa: No. But I worry about what will happen next.

Meanwhile, at the middle school...

Hugh Jr and Chad were sitting in David's classroom for detention.

David: Great. Darcy was crying this morning cause she thinks I spend too much time at work. Now I have to stay longer to keep an eye on you two cause you got detention.

Hugh Jr: Come on! Why'd I get detention? I thought Aunt Lily loved me!

David: She does, but gotta stop giving into Chad's pressure.

Chad: Look, I'm sorry. But if you tell my dad about any of this, well-

David: Oh, I think he knows. Since Lisa knows. And I know.

Chad slunk down in his seat.

Hugh Jr: If I can object, I did nothing wrong here!

David: Yes you did! You covered Lonnie in paint!

Hugh Jr: That was Chad.

David: Uh well, you threw a dodgeball at the gym teacher. It hit her in the head.

Hugh Jr: That was also Chad.

David: Okay. Both of you ditched school and went to the mall when you were supposed to be in my science class this morning. Remember?

Hugh Jr frowned.

David: And changing your look does NOT make you any cooler. Cool is subjective. What matters is getting good grades and doing your best.

Chad whispered to Hugh Jr.

Chad: He probably got a lot of wedgies in school.

David overheard.

David: I did not! I was actually cool because I did my best! Of course, my best was pretty superior.

Meanwhile, at home...

Lisa was on the phone with the principal.

Lisa: Yes, I know. Hugh Jr usually isn't like this, sir. I got to talk to him when he gets home.

Lisa hung up her phone.

Lincoln and Clyde entered.

Clyde: So, what about Chad?

Lisa: Oh, they're BOTH in detention right now. I have no one to blame but myself.

Lincoln: Really, Lisa? I happen to think Chad really is influencing your son.

Lisa: Yeah, I know that. It's just...I actually LET Hugh Jr hang out with Chad. Or, well...I didn't stop it.

Lincoln: Oh. But, you can't control everything.

Lisa: I can't?

Lincoln: No. You can't. I remember something exactly like this happened before.

Lisa: Wait...what? When?

Lincoln: 30 years ago. Lana became friends with Lucas, Marcus, Mike, and Gus.

Lisa: That's right! I had this fear that they'd harm Lana again. They never did. However, they were incredibly OBNOXIOUS! Always destroying my science experiments. Getting in the way of my relationship with Hugh. And well, the last one's too awful to mention.

Lincoln: And what I remember you doing was actually trying to SPLIT those 5 up!

Lisa rolled her eyes.

Lisa: I'm past it. I moved on.

Lincoln: Good.

Clyde saw the late bus pull up.

Clyde: Well, they're home. I gotta go and talk to Chad. You and Hugh Jr need to sort this out as well.

Hugh Jr and Chad entered.

Clyde: Chad, what the heck were you thinking?

As Clyde was yelling at Chad and forced him out the door, Hugh Jr came up to Lisa.

Hugh Jr: I'm sorry Mom. I meant no harm.

Lisa: I accept your apology. But you're grounded for a week.

Hugh Jr: Sounds fair.

They hugged.

Lincoln: Now that's what I call a happy ending!

Lincoln left as Hugh Jr and Lisa kept hugging.